One always confirms
One is very open
One has a closed policy as a norm
One is playful
One is dull
One runs the world
One has an influance that is null
One is gives you the most bang for your buck
One costs you all even the shirt on your back
One's name is PC
One's name is Mac!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Gee this is fun playing in the snow.
Mac: Sledding.
PC: Tobagganing.
Mac: Sking.
PC: Making Snow tans
Mac: And ice cream.
PC: Snow angels.
Mac: Snow forts.
PC: Skating.
-splat-
Mac: Who threw that?
-splat-
PC: It's that penguin!
-splat-
Mac: Get him!
-splat-
PC: Where is he?
-splat-
Mac: There he is!
-splat-
PC:No there he is!
-splat-
Mac: He's over here!
-splat-
PC: How did he get there so fast?
-splat-
Mac: He's everywhere!
-splat-
PC: We're surrounded!
-splat-
-splat-
-splat-
-splat-
-splat-
-splat-
-splat-
Mac grey screens.
PC blue screens.
Inifinit penguins dance ontop of the frozen PC and Mac.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Yep time for my program.
Mac: Wait, it's my comercial
TV: Hello I'm a PC and I'm a looser and so are people who use PCs. I'm A Mac and I'm a winner and so are people who use Macs. Buy a Mac, unless you are a looser.
PC: Now it's time for my program.
Mac: See.
PC: See what?
Mac: Proof.
PC: Proof of what?
Mac: That I'm better then you.
PC: And what proof is that?
Mac: My comercial.
PC: The one you paid writers to write?
Mac: Yes.
PC: The one you paid producers to produce?
Mac: Yes.
PC: The one you paid directors to direct?
Mac: Yes.
PC: The one you paid filmers to film?
Mac: Yes.
PC: The one you paid actors to act in?
Mac: Yes.
PC: The one you paid editors to edit?
Mac: Yes.
PC: The one you paid broadcasters to broadcast?
Mac: Yes.
PC: And how is this proof?
Mac: Because Mac and PC admit it.
PC: So the comercial you paid made for yourself, promotinging youself, based on what you want to say would naturally be truthful and unbiased?
Mac: Meh views are morons, as long as they see it on tv, they will think its true.
PC: Veiwers like the ones you want to buy your products?
Mac: Who else would?
PC: And that's what Mac's really trying to sell.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
-Ding dong-
PC: I wonder who that could be?
Mac: Do what I do when people call tech support, ignore it.
PC: That's no way to be. Hello who is it?
???: Trick or treat!
Mac: Bah goblins...of the hob varity..kill them!
PC: Wow Mac you really need to lay off the stuff. It's Halloween, let's give them treats.
Mac: Here you go, scram.
PC: There you are guys.
Trick or treater 1: I got a receses penut butter cup. What did you get?
Trick or treater 2: I got a moldy apple.
-Ding dong-
PC: I wonder who that could be?
Mac: Do what I do when people call tech support, ignore it.
PC: That's no way to be. Hello who is it?
???: Trick or treat!
Mac: Bah vampires...sparkly ones..kill them!
PC: Wow Mac you really need to lay off the stuff. It's Halloween, let's give them treats.
Mac: Here you go, scram.
PC: There you are guys.
Trick or treater 1: I got a hersey chocolate bar. What did you get?
Trick or treater 2: I got a old wrinkly apple.
-Ding dong-
PC: I wonder who that could be?
Mac: Do what I do when people call tech support, ignore it.
PC: That's no way to be. Hello who is it?
???: Trick or treat!
Mac: Bah wizards...practicers of the dark arts..kill them!
PC: Wow Mac you really need to lay off the stuff. It's Halloween, let's give them treats.
Mac: Here you go, scram.
PC: There you are guys.
Trick or treater 1: I got a gummy bears. What did you get?
Trick or treater 2: I got a wormy apple.
Trick or treater 1: A gummy worm?
Trick or treater 2: No a squirmy worm.
-Ding dong-
PC: I wonder who that could be?
Mac: Do what I do when people call tech support, ignore it.
PC: That's no way to be. Hello who is it?
???: Trick or treat!
Mac: Bah anime...poorly dubbed..kill them!
PC: Wow Mac you really need to lay off the stuff. It's Halloween, let's give them treats.
Mac: Here you go, scram.
PC: There you are guys.
Trick or treater 1: I got a snickers. What did you get?
Trick or treater 2: I got a brused apple.
-Ding dong-
PC: I wonder who that could be?
Mac: Do what I do when people call tech support, ignore it.
PC: That's no way to be. Hello who is it?
???: Trick or treat!
Mac: Bah diy...bad ones..kill them!
PC: Wow Mac you really need to lay off the stuff. It's Halloween, let's give them treats.
Mac: Here you go, scram.
PC: There you are guys.
Trick or treater 1: I got m&ms. What did you get?
Trick or treater 2: I got a razor filled apple.
Mac: What a waste of good candy.
PC: Not a good apple in the bunch.
Trick or treaters: Looks like It was PC that gave out the treats and Mac gave out the tricks!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Oh my what to choose?
Mac: You and those choices, what are you up to now?
PC: Trying to decide what flash game to play.
Mac: Hah I never have that problem.
PC: Why is that?
Mac: I allways make the same choice.
PC: What choice is that?
Mac: None. I don't support flash.
PC: But Flash is everywhere!
Mac: Not here.
PC: Lots of sites use flash.
Mac: None that anyone needs.
PC: Determined by who?
Mac: Me of course.
PC: But what will people do?
Mac: Do without, or change their sites and games to something I support.
PC: So you refuse to let people make use of a common standard, and force them to use a priority one?
Mac: One that I will have complete control of, and decide who can have it and what it's used for.
PC: And you expect with that atitude that people will choose your products?
Mac: Yes. I will tell people what to do, how to do it, when, where, and with what...AND THEY WILL DO IT FOR I AM MAC AND EVERYONE MUST DO WHAT I WANT! It's not like they have a choice.
PC: Not while mine are cheaper, more powerful, more customizeable, and more verstile...and can use flash.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Say Mac what are you doing?
Mac: Um...nothing...go away, just boring work like you do.
PC: Say that looks like you are doing some photo editing.
Mac: Well I am well known for my media manipulation skills.
PC: Say what is that?
Mac: WHat is what?
PC: This tablet.
Mac: Um it's mine.
PC: Odd It dosn't look like the ipad.
Mac: Well it's the ipad2.
PC: It looks a bit off.
Mac: Well its updated.
PC: But wait, it says "Samsung" on it.
Mac: No it doesn't.
PC: I see it right there.
Mac: Fine you got me. I am collecting data.
PC: WHat for?
Mac: For a copy rite inridgement lawsuit.
PC: Based on what?
Mac: Based on them copying the same screen format that my ipad2 has.
PC: Is that even something you can sue on?
Mac: It is when I am doing it. Even if its against the person I stole from.
PC: Wait what's this?
Mac: It's nothing?
PC: Nothing nothing, or Samsung nothing nothing.
Mac: Don't worry about it.
PC: It's your ipad2
Mac: No it isn't
PC: It says so on it.
Mac: No it doesn't.
PC: I see it right there!
Mac: WHat about it?
PC: Something doesn't look right.
Mac: Everything looks right.
PC: They don't look quite alike.
Mac: Yes they do. That's why iM suing
PC: Takes both and looks at them...: Wait a second.
Mac: No.
PC: This screan ratio is bigger then yours. You're trying to pull one of your quick rich schemes by lying and hurting others!
Mac: edits an image of the samsung, making it smaller till it's the same as the ipad2: Not anymore. see it's the same!
PC: But that tablets havn't changed.
Mac: But this picture is what I am using as evidence so that's what counts.
PC: But it's been altereded, you tampered with evidence.
Mac: Not when i do it.
PC: Are you saying its ok for you to break the law?
Mac: I'm saying whne I do it it's not breaking the law.
PC: Gee where have I heard that before?
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Wow I keep pushing the edge with new technology like my 6 core processor.
Mac: I'm even more ahead.
PC: Oh what do you have?
Mac: One of the top business in the world.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: And my products are everywhere.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: And great product placement.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: And we are in with the hipsters.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: And the comercials I direct, create, and star in makes me look best.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: And I go after those that try to reviel my flaws.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: And I decide what people need.
PC: That's not being ahead in technology.
Mac: Then what is being ahead in technology?
PC: Having the fastest speed, do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: Having the most cores, do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: Having the most processors, do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: Having the most bits. Do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: Having the most threads, do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: Having the largest cache, do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: And deliver all of this at an affordable price, do you have that?
Mac: No.
PC: All sizzle and no steak.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac who are all your friends?
Mac: I'm having a family reunion.
PC: That's swell.
Mac: Yeah, the entire family made it. We are quit popular. That's why there are so many of us.
PC: It's quite amazing you picked today for your reunion.
Mac: Oh why is that?
PC: I'm having a family reunion too with all of my family members.
Mac: Yeah right.
-ring-
PC: Oh that must be them now.
Mac: Yeah right.
-PC opens the door and the place floods with PCs, the Mac soon dissapear in the tide in the way a drop of water dissapears in the lake.-
PC: Hey everyone this is my friend Mac and his familly. Mac? Mac? Well he must be around somewhere. Looks like I have the largest family by far.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac What's going on?
Mac: Oh I'm just getting my friends over at China who are building new products to sign some legal stuff.
PC: Non conditianlity agreements?
Mac: Nothing so important. Just a pledge that they wont kill themselves.
PC: Well that makes...WHAT?
Mac: Yah apperently all the overtime, lack of weekends, no talking, public humilitatins, only seeing their families once a year, for low pay, and required to stand 12 hours at a time are really bumming out people.
PC: That's horrible!
Mac: Yah its really making a bad name for myself.
PC: No that these people are treated so horriblly!
Mac: Well what can I do about it?
PC Well you could have all of this done in the United States.
Mac: What? Do you know how insane that will be? I would have to treat these people fairly then, and my prophit margins won't as as large!
PC: And that would be the most inhumane treatment of all.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac do you know what time it is, I have a hot date and I don't want to be late picking her up.
Mac: Let me finish with my iphone so I can look at my watch.
PC: Why don't you just look at your iphone?
Mac: I can't, iphones don't tell time.
PC: An electronic device without a time function?
Mac: Oh it has a time function.
PC: Then why don't you use it to tell me the time?
Mac: Because the time will be wrong.
PC: WHy would it be wrong?
Mac: Beacuse one of the iphones feature is that it gives you an alternate interpretation of time.
PC: Well why have it if it makes you use a watch to tell time them?
Mac: Because.
PC: So can you make it give the correct time?
Mac: Well there was going to be an app you can buy that will unlock the correct time.
PC: Was?
Mac: Yes but it was decided to instead making it one of the new features included in the slightly better but way more expensive next version of the iphone.
PC: Looks like it's time to switch phones.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac, what are you doing?
Mac: I am collecting money from the people that are borrowing my products.
PC: Borrowing or selling? If you are selling, youy get money. If you are letting people borrow then it's free.
Mac: That's stupid. If I sold it, then I couldn't tag on conditions to just what they can do, and how they can do it to my products. I can if I let them borrow it.
PC: But you can't have it both ways, Either let them use it for free on your conditions, or sell it and let them do what every they want with it.
Mac: That is a lously business plan. This way not only do I get their money but I have complete control over how they use it. Besides when i put an i infront of each item, I am using the possevive i saying this stuff is mine. it's not yourpod, your, mac, or yourphone.
PC: How do you know they are using it as you want?
Mac: I install software that makes sure that they can't use it any otherise, alltering features and abilities should anyone figures out how to use them to their benefit.
PC: ANd if someone manages to use it any other way?
Mac: That's the best part. I sue them for even more money!
Pc: You really hate your customers don't you?
Mac: Yes...yes I do.
PC: So that's why you mistreat them.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Wow setting up the perfect computer for individuals can be hard, but it's worth it.
Mac: Bah you make things too hard on yourself, and others.
PC: What do you mean?
Mac: Your method is only for people of reasonable intelligence or above.
PC: And?
Mac: My method is make it simple enough for simple people to use. I mean, who wants to set up their own computer?
PC: Someone that wants a computer to look like they want to and does what they want it to do?
Mac: Right that takes a moderate amount of skill.
PC: And people with a moderate amount of intelligence and skill is not who you make computers for?
Mac: You said it. After all how else can I get them to buy my stuff.
PC: So you think the people that buy your products lack intelligence or skill. That is why you make computers that are based on ease to use, but not have much use?
Mac: Exactly!
PC: Won't they get mad if they found out what you think about them?
Mac: Naw, they arn't smart enough to realize thev'e been insulted.
PC: That's what Mac thinks about people who buy his electronics.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: There we go another powerful computer at an afordable price.
Mac: Hah, who'd buy something like that?
PC: What's wrong with that?
Mac: It lacks style. Now if you did what I do, machine cases out of solid pieces of metal, have slick transparent plastic over clean white plastic, capacitence buttons so the surface can be unbroken you wpuld have a work of art.
PC: Gee Mac with all the time and effort you put in your cases you must not have much left over to fill it with the latest tech.
Mac: Well I don't so I can't. But who needs high end technology when you can't see it. It's the outside that counts.
PC: Then how do they get much use out of them?
Mac: Use? Do you use a sculpture, a painting? They are to display and to show that you have enough money to spend on something that looks great and does nothing.
PC: And this is what you think com[petition is, making a product that does less and cost more.
Mac: As long as it has the right packaging.
PC: People now you know my friends marketing values.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Wow look at all the snow.
Mac: Yah It's everywhere.
PC: Let's go outside.
Mac: And make snowmen.
PC: I made a snow fort.
Mac: I made a snow angel.
Penguin: Wark!
PC: Hey it's that penguin.
Mac: Go away penguin you can't play with us.
Penguin: Wark
PC: Opensource freeware is not allowed!
Mac: Go play with some hippie.
Penguin: Wark.
PC: Hey its geting cold.
Mac: Maybe we should have worn some coats.
Penguin: Wark!
PC turns blue: ...
Mac turns grey: ...
Penguin starts throwing snowballs at PC and Mac: Wark
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac, as soon as I'm done with my business plan I'll get too you.
Mac: Business plan?
PC: Yes my 1, 2, profit.
Mac: Oh I have one of those
PC: Oh good. Step 1, utilize standarized components alowing many manufactures to make components, ensuring competition ending in superior products at low costs.
Mac: Mine is step 1, utilize propiety components and maintain control on who can produce them so I can drive the prices as high as possible
PC: Step 2 marketing based on capabilities to show the world what I can do.
Mac: Step 2 spread hype and lies to fool people into buying my products.
PC: Step 3 profit.
Mac: Step 3 profit.
PC: Hey we both get the same results.
Mac: And thats what matters, prophit at any cost.
PC: Just how do you sleep at night?
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac that is quite an outfit you have.
Mac: Isn't it?
PC: I can't help but notice that white and chrome color scheme.
Mac: I know, but really everything I have is like that, and a few pale colores here and there.
PC: I also see your logo everywhere.
Mac: Word. It's important that everyone can pick me out in the lineout.
PC: Well I admit you sure do stick out.
Mac: Now you wear something different each day. You run the whole gamabit of colors, compinations, and designs. How in the world will anyone know who you are?
PC: Well what can I say, I like varity.
Mac: Well maybe if you spent more on a classic constant style that shows you off from all others you woudn't have to spend so much trouble on having the most cutting edge technology in the world.
PC: Unlike you.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac, I'll get to you after I finish.
Mac: WHat are you doing?
PC: I am doing a podcast.
Mac: Stop right there!
PC: WHat's wrong?
Mac: You can't do a Podcast.
PC: I just did.
Mac: Then I will sue your superior technology at an inferier price rear off.
PC: Why?
Mac: Because I own the rights to all podcasts.
PC: How so?
Mac: The pod from podcasts if from ipod. I own ipod, therefore I own podcasts. So anyone wanting to do a podcasts has to do so with my permission and pay me lots of money.
PC: Not this one.
Mac: Impossible!
PC: Nothing s impossible with PC. It is a broadcast about pods. Pea Pods, pod people, pod bay doors.
Mac: It better not be in a mp3 format.
PC: Why not?
Mac: because those are ment to be on ipods.
PC: Silly Mac, the ipod isn't the only mp3player, there are dozens, if not more, and you can load this up on a computer.
Mac: does it have ipods as one of those pods?
PC: Nope. Only highy quality pods.
Mac: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
PC: this is going on my next podcast.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: I'll just hand that up here.
Mac: That's a nice picture. The colors the composition, the 3d rendering. The reason why Mac rule.
PC: Actually I did it myself.
Mac: WHAT?
PC: Now to listen to some music.
Mac: Now that could onlty been composed by a Mac.
PC: Actually I did it myself.
Mac: NO!
PC: And now to watch a movie.
Mac: Is it a blockbuster hit?
PC: It's an independent film done with CGI.
Mac: So it was done on a Mac.
PC: No, I did it all, using non-Apple software.
MAc: NOOOOOO.............
PC: Grey is a nice color on you Mac. Next to white its the one I see you most in.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac what are you doing?
Mac: I'm using my new iphone
PC: Really? Why are you putting it on the table and hitting it with a pole?
Mac: Because of a design feature which inhibits signal reception when held.
PC: Don't you mean flaw?
Mac: iproducts don't havce flaws, just features that the unskilled may have problems with.
PC: Why are you hooking up an external antenna?
Mac: I don't have good signal strength.
PC: But it has a ton of bars.
Mac: As part of the features of the iphone it displays more bars then it actually has.
PC: Well that should do it.
Mac: Still can't make the call.
PC: Why not?
Mac: Due the the wonderful features of the AT&T network.
PC: With features like those who needs flaws?
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hi Mac!
Mac: Ha that's one?
PC: What's one?
Mac: One illegle use of the letter i.
PC: Thats crazy!
Mac: No, I own the letter i, so if anyone else uses it they are illegally using my intellectial property. So I get to sue them ans make big money while opress them at the same time.
PC: Did you invent the letter i?
Mac: That's 3 more and no I didn't.
PC: Isn't it true the orgin of i goes back thousands of years to the anchient egyptian hieroglyph that represents a voiced pharyngeal fricative?
Mac: That's 10, and how should I know? Do you think I bother to see who holds the rights to the stuff I slap my logo on and then claim as mine and then sue people for not stopping to use what they had the right touse before I took that right away?
PC: iWhat ian icompltete ino0b!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC takes a bite out of an Apple: Mm this apple is really good!
Mac: HOLD It Right There!
PC: I am holding it.
Mac: No that's not what I mean.
PC: Well enlighten me, what do you mean?
Mac: Stop what you are doing.
PC: Why?
Mac: Because I am filing a lawsuit against you.
PC: Why?
Mac: Bacause that apple has a bite in.
PC: So?
Mac: That's my symbol.
PC: So anyone that takes a bite out of anapple will get a lawsuit from you?
Mac: Yep.
PC: Did you invent the apple?
Mac: Nope.
PC: Were you the first person to take a bite out of an apple?
Mac: Nope.
PC: Were you the first person to use the apple in marketing?
Mac: Nope.
PC Were you at least the first to use an Apple with a bite in it for marketing?
Mac: Nope.
PC: So what makes you think you can own it.
MaC: Because eveytime I use something others have used before me it becaomes mine for all time.
PC: Oh grow up!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac how are you today.
Mac: Hah, great, now that everyone everywhere is now using an Apple.
PC: Well good for you, you were bound to get it right eventually.
Mac: Yep almost every network has chossen one for there hit shows.
PC: By chossen you mean by the fact it was cheaper to use the ones you buy for them then it would be for them to get a computer on their own money?
Mac: Well yah.
PC: So its choose free computer over buy a computer?
Mac: Of course, thats the only way I can get them to choose my computers overs yours.
PC: ANd will you be doing the same for the audience watching?
Mac: Goodenness, no. they will have to pay the same high prices, more so to cover the cost of those free computers I give out!
PC: So in other words, you are making it appear that everyone is using your computers, buy giving them to networks on their shows, instead of the majority of real people actually choosing them on their own?
Mac: Yah...
PC: Isn't that lying?
Mac: So?
PC: And you are ok with that?
Mac: Why wouldn't I be?
PC: There goes truth in advertising.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hello Mac
Mac: Who are you?
PC: I'ts me PC don't you remember me?
Mac: No I never met you before.
PC: Did you take abit too much of your medication today?
Mac2: Hey whats all the rucus.
PC: There are two of you.
Mac2: Yah this is one of my many clones.
PC: Clone?
Mac: Yes Apple hates creativity so all of us Mac look the same
PC: I see.
MacClone: Have all the same parts.
PC: Oh my.
Mac: Run the same software
PC: I think I see a theme.
MacClone: All made by the same companies.
PC: WHat if someone has an application that needs more speed?
Mac: Tough
PC: What if someone needs better graphics?
MacClone: Then they are out of luck
PC: Better sound?
Mac: Well then they better look elsewhere.
PC: WHat if they want a different look, Your sleek white and metal exterior may not appeal to some?
MacClone: Hey we are are made perefectly alike one another, just like our customers. Why would there be any differnt needs, or wants?
PC: It's like they are one and the same is'nt that right?
GamingPC: Totally.
WorkPC: Positivly.
BroweserPC: Bingo.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac, you are looking unusually busy today given that you only have a handful of apps.
Mac: I'm trying to teach this group of people to think differently.
PC: How are you doing that?
Mac: By having them all by the same products.
PC:Hmmm....
Mac: Pay the same prices.
PC: Interesting.
Mac: Run the same apps.
PC: Ok...
Mac: Have the same colors.
PC: Well know...
Mac: ANd of course, think, do, and say what ever it is I tell them.
PC: And that makes them think differebntly how?
Mac: Differently from those who want to buy what products suit them, running the programs they want, paying for what they affored, modded how they desire and um, from those that have a sense of self.
PC: Bravo!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac, you look all buzzed today, self medicatetion?
Mac: Not this time, I am buzzed purely on Apple's new product that has revolutioned the world of Technology.
PC: And what would that be?
Mac:The iPad.
PC: Oh what is it?
Mac: A tablet?
PC: Like a pill?
Mac: No like what you draw and write on.
PC: Sorry to burt your bubble but that was invented thousands of years ago.
Mac: No, a computer tablet, like a laptap that is all screen, that is touch sensitive.
PC: Wait, that's not revolutionary, that has been done allready.
Mac: Not by Apple.
PC: So when some thing is done by Apple, its revolutionary?
Mac: Yep.
PC: Even if they are doing what has been done by many others before them?
Mac: Yeh!
PC: No wonder why Apple products behind the times.
It's PC, Mac, and Penquin,
A must unusual trio
One is great, one is subrate
The other is the way to go
It'S PC, Mac and Penguin
They allways seem to fight
But we all know which ones are slow
And which one boots up right
Oh oh watch them go
Allways competing
Two of them are useful
The other's for deleting
PC, Mac and Penguin
We love most of you dear
Oh by golly, have a holly, jolly upgrade
This year
It's PC, Mac, and Penquin,
A must unusual trio
It's PC, Mac and Penguin
They allways seem to fight
But we all know which ones are slow
And which one boots up right
Oh Oh Watch them go
Allways competing
Two of them are useful
The other's for deleting
PC, Mac and Penguin
We love most of you dear
Oh by golly, have a holly, jolly upgrade
This year
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC : Oh Great, My camera isn't working.
Mac: What you to?
PC: Well I'll send it to get fix..there.
Mac: Me too.
PC: Well time to check out my fan mail.
Mac: Wait you can't do that!
PC: Of course can, I'm doing it right now.
Mac: Tha's imppossible, you sent your camera in so you cant check your email.
PC: Wait, why would that prevent me from looking at my e-mail?
Mac: SPlah! Cause if your camera goes to the shop, you don't have a monitor to look at.
PC: WHat, Why? Those are two separate perpihials.
Mac: No they arn't, they are integrated together.
PC: Mine arn't. Most of my devices are separate.
Mac: Really? That is stupid. You must have a rats nest of cables to worry about and computer parts everywhere.
PC: And if something goes wrong, I only lose that funtion, I still have everything else working.
Mac: Right Instead of losing multiple capibilities like me...HEY!
PC: You said it, I didn't.
Mac: Say PC, may I check my e-mail after your done?
PC: Of course, after I'm done with my 100,000 fan letters.
Mac: I get twice that each month!
PC: Oh this is from today.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac remember when we got our universal serial buses?
Mac: It wasn't fair?
PC: What wasn't?
Mac: I had firewire.
PC: Yah, and I had USB.
Mac: Exactly, Intel made USB.
PC: And?
Mac: They make motherboards.
PC: And?
Mac: So That means they put their interfaces together with their motherboards.
PC: And what is wrong with that?
Mac: I wanted them to put my interface with their products, how dare they! Now USB is more popular then firewire. Its not fair! I want everthing to be my way, not the way people want to do their things their own way!
PC: What a n0ob.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hi Mac, WHat are you doing?
Mac: I'm listening to my iPod. It has 160 GB of memory, WHat are you doing?
PC: I'm listening to my Zune. It has 120 GB of memory.
Mac: Hah! I have 40 GB more then you. I also have a 2.5 inch 320 by 240 pixel color screen!
PC: Wow taht is pretty decent, I have a 3.2 inch 320 by 240 pixel color screen.
Mac: Well mi display can show 65536 colors!
PC: Wow Mac that is quite a bit, not as much as my 262,144 colors.
Mac Well I have 36 hours worth of battery life.
PC: That is sweet. I have 30.
Mac: HAH Booyah!
PC: How's your reception?
Mac: My...what?
PC: Your radio reception.
Mac: This is an mp3 player, not a walkman.
PC: Pity, I can listen to it on my Zune.
Mac: Well, I still have 40 gig more then you and um, 6 more hours of battery life.
PC: ANd that is pretty neat. So har far do you have to be before your ipod wirelessly links up to your computer?
Mac: What are you talking about? It plugs into a dock through firewire.
PC: Well that is ok. Not like my Zune that links up through my wifi network at 30 feet away. No wires to have to deal with.
Mac: Well I still...wait...what is that!
Penquin: Wark!
PC: What is he doing?
Mac: It looks like he's listenting to something.
Penguin: Wark.
PC: Le's take a look at this.
Mac: It's a mp3 player
PC: It has 320 GBs of memory!
Mac: It has a 7 inch 800 by 480 pixel coolor touch screen display!
PC: It's displaying 16 million colors!
Mac: It has 39 hopurs of battery life! Why would anyone want that much operating time?
PC: It does have...wifi
Mac: And..internet connectivity. Even my ipod touch doesnt have this guy's 320 GB.
PC: Well, it doesn't have a big businees brandname.
Penguin: Wark.
PC: What does it say on it?
Mac: Archos.
PC: Um, Wow...320 GB.....
MAC: Huge touch screen...
PC: Internet...
PC+Mac: GIVE THAT TO ME YOU STUPID BIRD!
Penguin: Wark!
Mac Stands in a theater the seats filled with people with a blank empty stare on their faces directed towards the large screen behind Mac.
Screen: Mac is the only choice. Mac products are the only choice. You will buy from us, pay what we tell you to pay, do what we tell you do, say what we tell you to say. Do not think for yourshelves, do not look at any other computer products. We will do all the thinking for you!
PC comes running into the theater with a sledgehamer!
Mac: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
PC hurls the sledgehammer at the screen, shattering it in a rain of sparks and glass over Mac!
The people start to come out of it shaking the heads, blinking and rubbing their eyes.
Person stands up: "I'm free....
2nd Person Stands up: I'm Free...
3rd Person stands up: We are all free...PC Has freed us from the evil brain washing of Mac!
All the people Stand up: PC! PC ! PC!
Mac: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
PC: You are now free to decide what computer you want, what hardware you want, what software you want. Go now and tell the world!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hello Mac, I came as soon as you called. What's wrong?
Mac falls on his knees sobbing: PC please please stop telling others the truth!
PC: What?
Mac: Telling everyone that they if they can find a powerful computer for under 700 dollars they can have it.
PC What's wrong with that?
Mac: The only halfway decent computer for that price is a PC, A mac half that powerful costs twice that much!
PC: Well what if you lower your cost?
Mac: Fine I will.
PC: Good for you.
Mac: There I knocked of 100 dollars.
PC: Wait...that still is pretty expensive.
Mac: Well anyway, please stop. It's not fair you can tell the truth...
PC: Why not? Mac: Because Only I am allowed to say things that makes me seem better, even if I have to lie about it.
PC: What a frigg'n Noob.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
Consumer: I'm a consumer, looking for the perfect compture for my individualized needs.
PCs: We are all the types of PCs there are in existence.
Consumer. "Wow, there so many of you, I can't see the end of the line!
Macs: We are all the types of Macs in existance.
Consumer: Um Wow....there are...a few of you.
PC: SO what typ of computer do want?
Consumer: Well I want something that really packs power.
-Several Macs leave.-
Consumer: And something that I can aford.
-Several more Macs leave.-
Consumer: And it has to play games.
-More Macs go.-
PCS: Wow Mac, looks like all your friends had to go, I hope you're not lonely.
Mac: I uh..I just remembered an apointment I had to go to.
PCS: Wow Looks like now you just have to choose which one of us you want to take home.
Consumer: Yes, time for the real hard choice now...what color should I pick?
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Gee Mack I love how we are more compatble then ever
Mac: I love how we are both using Intel technology.
PC: I love how we can swap files.
Mac: I love how we can run the same aplications.
PC: I love you Mac.
Mac: I love you PC.
Penguin flies around with a bow and arrow.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hello Mac. well it's that magical time of the year where everything is new and filled with promise.
Mac: Meh, so what.
PC: Mac have you made out your New Year's Resolutions?
Mac: Yah, I scribbled down something while I was....um...
PC: I know lets start reading ours, I'll go first. I resolve to continue providing the type of system, that is easy to costumize, optimize, at a low cost while having top performance.
Mac: Well freak'n good for you. I resolve to continue brainwashing people to buy one half the computer at the twice the price of you and still have them falling to my knees each time I come out with a slightly new feature, and then after they buy in, I'll lower the price!
PC: Gee usually resolutions are about improvement.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hello Mac, what a wonderful holiday season.
Mac: Meh I guess.
PC: Lets go out in the snow.
Mac: Meh whatever.
PC: I'm going make a snow man, Mac Want to help?
Mac: Meh, I'm going make some snow balls ad throw them at kittens.
....
PC: Well almost done, know just to add the nose. Hmm what's that red dot? I It's fallowing me. Hey I can't shake it off.
...
Mac: Hah that's for being so cute, now let's see if there are any other kittens that I can freeze off their whiskers. Hey what's that red dot?
Mac: My arm!
Mac: My Leg! Who..who are you? Stop I'll do anything you want, I'll actully give you an Apple that doesn't suck!
Penguin with high powered rifle with telescopic, night vision, laser guided site does crazy dance.
Well PC and Mac are here to tell us what they are all thankful for...and they brought turkey!
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: I am thankful for Moore's law
Mac: I'm thankful for the mobs of drooling Mac worshipers that will believe anything Steve Jobs tells us to.
PC: I am thankful for ever increasing in speed and storage hard drives, while decreasing in prices.
Mac: I'm thankful people respond to emotions more then reason.
PC: I am thankful that silicon is such an abundant resource.
Mac: I am thankful that people are willing to spend more for less.
PC: I am thankful for multicore technology.
Mac: I am thankful for Apple's skill at covering up their mistakes, even if they don't fix them.
PC: I am thankful for water cooling, cool on so many levels.
Mac: I'm glad that Mac users can't stand those who don't use apple computers instead of letting people be different.
PC: I am thankful for clear cases.
Mac: I am thankful for Apples closed case policy.
PC: I am thankful for ease of upgradability
Mac: I am thankful for being a home to obsolete technology.
PC: Well Looks like the turkey is done
Mac: Time to dig in!
IJ Dee-Vo: Wait that doesn't look like a turkey...wait....what it stuffed with...is that a gold medal?
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: I am campaigning to be your computer
Mac: So am I.
PC: I run a campaign based on my abilities.
Mac: I run my champaign based on spreading hate. Misconceptions, lies and making my opponent into a stereotype.
PC: I have too many things to say why should pick me to say anything about my opponent.
Mac: I don't have enough good points, so all I can do is to try to make you hate mine.
PC: I trust the public to make fair unbiased choices based on reason and facts.
Mac: I don't trust them to use their brains, which is why I try to make myself so easy to understand a lobotomized caveman can work me, instead I rely on making them go on emotions. Sure they may regret their descriptions later but hey why should I care, as long as they found out after they picked me, I couldn't give a flipping mushroom about those idiots.
PC: You do know your mic is on?
Mac: Well what can you expect? When everything is so integrated it's work with faulty equipment, or don't work at all.
PC: Well there you are people, we said all we can say, now the choice is yours.
IJ Dee-Vo: Wait A penguin, wearing a golden medallion has just entered IJ Studios and handed us a card. There is writing on it.
Hello in these trying times, PC and Mack are offering themselves as the paths out of the dark woods that we are lost in and into the rising sun. However they each have neglected all of the twits and turns that their paths contain. Mac claims to be the source of salvation, but the reality is, it promises this to far more then those that will be covered. Mac asks for increased prices, for similar results. In this economy can we really afford this? Mac tactics consist solely on spreading lies, half-truths, and hatred. PC may seem to be taking the high ground but have you look at who's been cozying up with this candidate. Big Business. That is right. Big business and PC have been long time partners, and in these days of the struggling cottage industry can you afford an allegiance with this giant. The fact is the PC owns the Earth, and most of the moon. Now that is scary. Isn't there another way, another path. One that will save more then the chosen few, or one does not have to sell out to get by? I humbly offer a third choice. Unlike Mac I am willing to work with all sides to make the world a better place. Unlike PC I have always been a big supporter of smaller institutions. From personal use, to research institutions, I have been helping others whether it involves being deep within the Earth or out amongst the stars. Unlike my two opponents I do not require heavy final backings, so you can be sure I won't be answering to special interest groups. So please check me out. I'm user friendly, I work well with others, and you won't have to pay an arm and a leg for my services.
Tachi: WAIT ISN'T THAT THE SAME PENQUIN THAT WON IN THE IJLYMPICS?
IJ Dee-Vo: I believe it is, maybe it it can win this as well. We will have to wait and see.
IJLYMPICS
IJ Dee-Vo: Well Here we are at the Ijlympics where we are having our first event, a series of competitions between our Two Good Friends PC and Mac, though with only two competitors I don't know what to give the second one, silver or for coming in last...bronze
Tachi: THAT MAY NOT BE A PROBLEM AS WE SEEM TO HAVE A THIRD CHALLENGER!
IJ Dee-Vo: Who is this brave and possibly foolish soul that dares challenges the fight for OS supremacy?
Tachi: IT APPEARS TO BE A...WAIT...WAIT...SOME SHORT GUY IN A TUXEDO
IJ Dee-Vo: Uncle Moneybags?
Tachi: NO IT'S A PENGUIN!
IJ Dee-Vo: A penguin, well certainly it would do good in the winter Olympics, but it must be ready to melt in this heat, well It's a bit .... to let someone else in so late, but I'll allow it! Well that's it, we have three medals, and three contestants. Are you ready? First is the speed it's pretty self satisfactory, the faster system, wins...Gentlemen, and aquatic fowl on your mark...get set GO!!!
Tachi: AND THEY ARE OFF: AND RIGHT OFF THE BASE PC TAKES THE LEAD AND MAC IS RIGHT BEHIND...BUT WAIT THE LITTLE PENGIN IS REALLY ACCELERATING>>IT”S RIGHT BEHIND MAC.
IJ Dee-Vo: Wow It's quite surprising seeing how small those legs are.
Tachi: I GUESS ITS BECAUSE THE LIL GUY IS A LOT LESS BULKIER THEN PC OR MAC, LOOK THEY ARE TIED FOR SECONDPLACE..
IJ Dee-Vo: Wait that bird is starting to pull ahead, wow, for being flightless, that dude can really fly! Mac is really falling behind both of them, but surely, no penguin can hope to have a chance against PC...can it?
Tachi: WELL IT SEEMS NOONE TOLD THIS PENGUIN THAT. ITS NOW CLOSE ENOUGH THAT IT CAN PECK AWAY AT PC's LEGS...WAIT.
IJ Dee-Vo: I can't believe it, they are even!...As for Mac, he's so far away I can't even see him.
Tachi: WAIT..Wait...YES THE PENGUIN IS SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF PC!
IJ Dee-Vo: Well It's that beak, it's giving the arctic wonder the edge here.
Tachi: THE TUXEDO TORNADO HAS NOW PULLED AHAEAD IN A SIGNIFICANT LEAD!
IJ Dee-Vo: This ..this is amazing! A bird has surpassed both PC and Mac! And it's closing on to the finish line!..
Tachi: IT'S OVER! THE PENGUIN HAS WON!
IJ Dee-Vo: Here comes PC, yes, PC is now second, but were is Mac?
Tachi: THERE IS MAC, LAYING ON THE TRACK, SMOKING...SOMETHING
IJ Dee-Vo: Well we are giving them a short intermission to rest.
...
IJ Dee-Vo: Well we are back and now on to our next event. Our last one was pure speed, but this one is endurance.
Tachi: YES ITS DON'T STOP TILL YOU DROP. LAST ONE STANDING WINS THIS ONE,.
IJ Dee-Vo: Now I should say that the medals we give out is actually accumulative, the one the wins the most of these events will get a gold
Tachi: SECOND MOST WILL GET SILVER, THIRD THE BRONZE.
IJ Dee-Vo: Now that there are all rested, On your mark, get ready, get set..GO!!!
Tachi: AND THEY ARE OFF! SO FAR THEY ARE ALL DOING WELL. IT SEEMS LIKE IT COULD BE ANYONES GAMES...
...
IJ Dee-Vo: We are on hour 2, and so far its pretty uneventful, wait I spoke too soon. PC just stumbled and is down, and yes his glasses ...the lenses are blue..PC is out!
Tachi: YES BUT MAC AND PENGUIN ARE STILL GOING STRONG, IT STILL CAN GO EATHER WAY...
...
IJ Dee-Vo: Well It's the fourth hour of running and nothing to really say, just a guy and a penguin..did you see that! MAC HAS Fallen, and he isn't getting back up...
Tachi: THIS IS UNPRECEDED THE PENGUIN HAS WON YET AGAIN!
IJ Dee-Vo: Yes so far this feathered flightless fowl is fouling up the chances of PC and Mac to win, but it's not over yet.
Tachi: NO NOT BY A LONG SHOT NOW WE WILL LET THEM RECOVER AS WE HAVE A WORD FROM OUR SPONNSOR.
-Folks are you unpopular with the members of the other sex? Are you stuck in a dead end job with no way out? Are you broke mooching off friends and family? Well there is hope. GET A LIFE! Yes at GETALIFE, we offer some of the very best lives for premium cost. Hate your life? Then get a life, with GETALIFE. Actual life may not be the one shown here. Your's may very...by a significant degree. Offer not valid in some places. May cause unsightly extra body parts to sprout overnight . Do not take internally. If exposed to skin, please consult a funeral director. May not be compatible with other GETALIFE lives-
IJ Dee-Vo: Now that they have had a chance to recover we move on to our next event. They will be juggling application. Yes the most applications they can have determines the winner, so let us now see. On your mark, get ready, Go!!!
Tachi: YES THER ARE EACH JUGGLING AN APPLICATON, NOW TWO, NOW THREE, SO FAR THEY ARE SOING GREAT JUGGLING THE LIKES I HAVE BNEVER SEEN!
IJ Dee-Vo: Yes wait...It seems like Mac is having issues, he has three applications, while the others have four. Look PC is going for a fifth!
Tachi: YES, WAIT THEY ARE GOING EACH FOR ANOTHER APPLICATION.....
IJ Dee-Vo: Oh!! It's over, they lost their applications! At last count, Mac had 3 Linux had 6, but PC had up to 10 applications, right before he lost it,.
Tachi: YES PC HAD THE MOST APPLICATIONS..PC HAS WON THIS EVENT! BUT IT”S STILL NOT OVER
IJ Dee-Vo: No, already they are about to head into the next and last event where the winner will be determined. This is the swimsuit competition! Yes It's t see which one is the most popular and it should be good.
Tachi: YES AFTER ALL THE WORK THEY HAVE DONE, NOW THEY CAN STAND AROUND AND LOOK GOOD, AND HERE THEY ARE NOW. PC IS IN A CLASIC BLUE, MAC IS IN GREEN, AND OUR LIL FRIEND IS SPORTING YELLOW.
IJ Dee-Vo: Up first is PC. We will be using the applause-o-meter to scientifically evaluate the response from our listeners....and there it goes I whopping 80 percent!
Tachi: NOW MAC, MAC IS APPARENTLY DOING SOME STRECHES AND POSE STRIKING TO BEEF UP THE AUDIENCE INTEREST AND HERE WE HAVE IT 20 PERCENT!
IJ Dee-Vo: But wait its not over, the penguin is now up..and it's...waddling around...well lets see what the applaud-o-meter says about it..
Tachi: THE APPLAUD-O-METER HAS JUST OVERLOADED AND EXPLOADED! THE PENQUIN HAS WON!
IJ Dee-Vo: Amazing simply amazing I have never seen anything like this in all my two years at IJ Studios! Yes and now to tally up the points...yes...yes..This has been quite an eyeopener, we have tallied up the score and are ready to announce the winners.
Tachi: THE WINNER OF THE BRONZE MEDAL GOES TO MAC!
Mac: Meh, I can still sell it to score some stuff.
IJ Dee-Vo: The Winner of the silver is PC
PC: It was an honor just to compete.
Tachi: AND THE WINNER OF THE GOLD MEDAL IS THE PENGUIN!
Penguin: Wark!
IJ Dee-Vo: There you have it, it's all over, but not the Ijlympics so tune in next week!
IJ Dee-Vo: It's that time again.
TACHI: TIME TO EAT A LIME?
IJ Dee-Vo: No.
Tachi: TIME TO MAKE CHANGE FOR A DIME?
IJ Dee-Vo: No.
Tachi: TIME TO CLEAN UP SOME GRIME?
IJ Dee-Vo: No, it's time for another vist from our good friends, PC and Mac.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Oh my, I Just discovered 658 vulnerabilities in my OS, well no one is perfect but as long as I am sincere with my shortcomings and work right away to correct them it's ok right Mac?
Mac: Meh...
PC: What's up Mac?
Mac: You're working too hard PC, I just discovered 738, and you don't see me getting all upset by them, I'll get around fixing them later, In fact, at any given time I usually have over 20 high to medium vulnerabilities and don't stress about it, I mean why bother making myself secure.
PC: Interesting, at any given time I have under 20.
Mac: Meh, no one cares that at any given point I'm more of a target to intrusions.
PC: Well folks, there you have it, I don't think I could have stated it any better myself.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hey Mac why are you looking at the watch, got some big party to go to?
Mac: Ya, I wish, no one wants me around.
PC: Than whats the deal with looking at your watch all the time?
Mac: I'm counting down the time.
PC: The time to what?
Mac: The time someone cracks into my system.
PC: It must be a long time, I hear Macs are harder to get into then Fort Knox.
Mac: Can you keep a secret? Thats just what I want you to think, It only takes 2 minuets for a cracker to break into my systems.
PC: Wow only two minuets, your firewall is more like a sieve.
Mac: Brrrrrrr I'm a lttle teapot short and stout, this is is my handle this is my spout.
PC: Kudos Charlie Miller
(note hackers like Charlie Miller are good, they show how systems are vulnerable so we can fix them, as well as learn how to get the most out of them. Crackers are bad, wanting to steal, corrupt or take control your systems. Media I know you like using the term hacker to describe evil doers cause it sounds better, but it doesn't make it right or correct. We will use the correct terms and not bow down to your WORD JACKING)
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Take a look at my new suit.
Mac: Hey it's blue!
PC: Yep, I like it.
Mac: You can't have a blue suit!
PC: Why not?
Mac: Because I have one!
PC: Really? We should go out to THE HUB wearing them!
Mac: No you can't have a blue once because I have one, I'm going to sue you!
PC: Hold on, on what grounds?
Mac: On the grounds that once I have a suit of a color noone else can.
PC: Wow did you create the color blue?
Mac: Well no.....
PC: Well then you can't copyright it can you?
Mac: So?
PC: So are you going to sue everyone that has something blue
Mac: Maybe.
PC: Talk about user friendly.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Hello Ladies.
Hot Women: Oh hello PC!
Mac: Hey where did they come from?
PC: Oh these are my fans, I am quite popular, PCs are much more common then Mac.
Mac: Yeah, well. I don't need anyone!
Hot Women: PC where do you want to go tonight?
PC: Lets go to that new club The Hub.
Mac: Good luck, its exclusive, I couldn't get in there.
PC: Actually I'm already a VIP there.
Mac: How!?
PC: Well PCs are found in more places then Macs so I'm not that surprised. Hey maybe I can put in the good word for you?
Mac: I don't need your help, I don't need you, I don't need anyone!
Hot Women: PC, Mac smells funky, lets go.
PC: Don't wait up.
Hip 30/40 year old: Hello I'm a PC.
Burnt out 20 year old: Smokes ...something "I'm...a....watch you call it...
PC: Mac
Mac: Yeah, whatever.
PC: Lots of people want to build parts for me.
Mac: I can only get one place to.
PC: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Mac: Well, everything always works well together, unlike you.
PC: Everything from one place huh?
Mac: Ya so what?
PC: So that means you have to rely on one set of price, no shopping around for the best deals?
Mac: Yeah
PC: And you can't get the latest in technology?
Mac: Yeah.
PC: And you are not as customizable to suit individual people and circumstances?
Mac: Yeah Maybe I don't want to be fast, smart, reasonably priced, or an individual.
PC: He said it, not me.